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Apr 06, 2013
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why does she!
when does a woman give in
when she wants him in..
then she has no inhibitions
of what others think …
she has made her mind
so she thinks
as love flows and only she knows
from within
she has made her choice
now none can stop
love for her becomes a lovely stop
she lets him enter
but never regrets
till she has reason to repent
then tis too late
she can’t relent
she couldn't wait…
alas it happens these days
quite often
let her make up her own mind and date
to whom she should lovingly relate..
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
godshouldnthave
12 years 3 months ago
Confusing theme.
I feel like the poem is great but the implied audience screws with me a bit. I feel confused. It hints that she is not capable of correctly making up her own mind the whole time. She is pressured into this interaction and does not necessarily love the man inside of her. Yet we close with a call to action to the man to let her make up her own mind. Is this a message to tell men to slow down and wait for her to come to you? Is this a message to women about thinking twice? Is this encouraging both sides to only have sex with someone that they are in love with?
Or am I way off and this is simply cautioning the act of giving up your virginity? It feels like it could be any of these and I yearn for a steadfast anchor by which to fully understand your message.
_Danny
loved
12 years 3 months ago
It's about a gals desire ..sex is
your personal version
creation or decision
many gals become single mothers
only
but surely unknowingly
lets get more views please.
Frenchf
12 years 3 months ago
You are quite right
But it applies to men as well.
The one night stand the guy from hell
The sailor with a women in every port
No new mystery here is my retort
Tis the Way of the world
Not specific to girls!
loved
12 years 3 months ago
yes nothing new...
since birth gals alone
are that worth
men only donate sperms
and ovums toooo
help procreate
no single effort ...
combined conugal
Seren
12 years 3 months ago
Dear Loved
Why does she indeed ? She should never be pressured into having sex which I felt was part of the message of the poem, there is a little work to be done for clarity as its a little confusing I am sure you can smooth out the edges
love Jayne-Chloe xxx
loved
12 years 3 months ago
once I come to know
this poetry will
naturally glow
the glitch to me
do show!
Josephus
12 years 3 months ago
A woman' price for
A woman' price for inpetuousity is so much more profound than a man's. Unless the man is as committed to responsibility as the woman.
As to a critique, I feel that your passion is trumping your sense of style and clarity. The stanza below could be shaped to benefit both I feel.
now none can stop
love for her becomes a lovely stop
she lets him enter
but never regrets
till she has reason to repent
then tis too late
she can’t relent
In closing, your passion, optics and topic are intense and vivid. I enjoyed; even better, learned about you and your world from this poem. Thank you for this oportunity.
Best regards,
Joe
loved
12 years 3 months ago
thanks Joe
I wish you to know that
I'm an actor of poetry ....
its not necessary
that all of it is me
I enter thee
and then I'm at sea.
perhaps to my mind
what you do see.