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Apr 14, 2013
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double grumble
grumblers two
can't still believe
it's a metre long...
you work in depth
in knots
all know
but metre perhaps
is a bit too long ...
no!
reduce your weight...
I did too
ran a mile
then collapsed
as just as well
with the laden weight
of bag of vegetables
so why reduce weight
I say
make do
your better half will still love you
slow be it never mind
life's always been a fast grind...
never mind
the days ahead
better slow
than be dead.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Josephus
12 years 3 months ago
OK Loved, now I at least
OK Loved, now I at least understand your context. Losing weight is a personal challenge and can only be accomplished if you believe in yourself and the "rightness" of the exercise and diet. I know, I lost 80 pounds in to years. Others caenciurage but only you can make it work successfully.
Blessings,
Joe
loved
12 years 3 months ago
i am that creature....
which in all humans
does enter
then i visualize
and
compose poetry
concise.....
but yes
I also now need to weigh down
else one day
I'll look a clown ...
which I now mostly do
to humour guys
like you
so I must thank you too!!!!
Ian.T
12 years 3 months ago
Loved
Unless people don't overindulge through mostly boredom, then I think that they will become their natural weight.
What was the fist Stanza all about ??? is that your waist measurement ??
Once again you have used a comment as a separate poem, you see I still read all the poems and the comments lol, Yours Ian.T
PS:- have just found the first Stanza as a comment to Joe's poem about the city Yin and Yang (Now Now Naughty, you trying to trip me up)
LOL
loved
12 years 3 months ago
catch me as
always as you can
Ian my poetic man,
sparrow