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Looking Over You

Jesus, were am I
In heaven young one
What about my family

I promise they will be okay
Aren't you supposed to protect me?
From bad things

The almighty Jesus shed a tear
And said yes that’s why
I brought you home

Come let me show you the swings
The slide and all the candy
You desire my young son

I want my mommy
My brother and my teacher
I know you do
That’s why I built you a window
So you can see them everyday

Now run along and find your friends
I promise no will hurt you here
The young boy ran to find his class mates
As Jesus looked out his window
He saw a mother pray
So he spoke to her and
Said hello my daughter
You are not alone tonight

Lord, I want my son she cried
Why did he have to be slaughtered?
I have no words my daughter
So I will send you doves with clarity
Angels to lift your soul
And I will always look after your little boy

Lord yelled the little boy is that mom
Yes, said the lord come say hello
Mom don’t cry I’m home
Jesus and I are looking over you

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

Favorite Poets: Cavafi, Sylvia Plath and Neopoet as a whole.

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Comments

wesley snow

wesley snow

12 years 1 month ago

A really odd, comfortable feel to this, Paul.

Don't tell anyone, but I am a sucker for the sentimental stuff.
The only problem I have with it is the suddenness of changing voices. Without quotes I read sometimes three lines before I realized someone else what speaking.
A little punctuation would solve this.
Otherwise, a very touching little poem.