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Dec 29, 2010
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Freak
Birth dragged me screaming
into this hollow place,
and abandoned me to the cruelty of my own species.
I traverse the surface of this planet,
a solitary mortal, no one needs me,
the sensation overwhelms me.
Desolation
Degradation
Persecution
Isolation
I'm alien amidst the human race
I don't belong,
I'm a freak.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
14 years 6 months ago
crap...
Sounds like you've had a lousy week! Short, but powerful! I just want to give a couple of tweaks, you missed the [o] in desolation, and degr[a]dation is spelled wrong. You have captured the the feeling of being alone, put it in just a few sentences. You always seem to be able to do that. Hope you had a good Christmas, and wishing you, and mom, a Happy New Year. ~ Love ya, ~ Gee
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
crap
And here I thought you'd written about my writing lol. Here's hoping your week gets better...............scribbler
Kailashana2
14 years 6 months ago
Freak? No freakin' way! ~A
Freak? No freakin' way!
~A
Nordic cloud
14 years 6 months ago
Great poem as a poem.
I second my colleagues above, but the poem is fine,
well done too.
I like to be a 'freak', well perhaps that's a word too strong
for what I mean, but I do not like to CONFORM to the norm,
am not conservative, but am ready to flow into other paths if they
present themselves and are of interest to me, whether anyone
else thinks anything of them or not! Not afraid to stick out in a
crowd, anymore that is! Never wanted to follow fashions or creeds
of any kind, liked to find my own way of expressing myself,
gleaning things I wished to know, not the PRESCRIBED books etc.
Free of ism's and ready mapped paths, ready for the adventure of life.
That's me!! Love to you 'rock on' Ann.
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Thank you to all of you
I was just loosening the pressure valve.
Lou
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Awwww shirl
Thank you very much.
Lou
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Whoops
Duplicate
Xxxxxx
ziggy
14 years 6 months ago
hi again
well hello there its good therapy to direct thoughts
as these on to a page , the opening lines really set
the mood here , ill be chatting you soon my dear ,,,,zigs x
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Zigs
thanks , speak soon my dear .
lou
lou
14 years 6 months ago
hi
thanks
lou