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Jul 12, 2013
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Visitant
Hushed night air
gentle breezes
caressing open curtains
dance across my face.
Through the walls
and window sills
silently they creep
careful not to disturb
my sleep.
The creaking of the door
footsteps in the hall
Tell me I'm not alone
voiceless, I wait.
Shadow figures
outlined in moonlight
converse with themselves
colloquialims I can't understand.
Mischievous creatures
rummaging cabinets.
Perhaps looking
for a midnight snack.
With swiftness and grace,
they left as quick as they came.
Holding my breath
until it was safe.
Chills down my spine
musty odor in their places.
If only to see their faces.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
12 years 3 months ago
Carrie
Of little gremlins and things that play as the night grow chill.
Their faces you wouldn't like, but they mean you no ill.
It is their play time that you have just seen
No I assure you this is real and no dream
But come morning they will have all gone
It's the daytime where they don't belong.
.
Listen to the inner thoughts they are more pure if you can hear them.
The Gremlins and little things will disappear,
Yours Ian.T
.
The last two lines may sound better if:-
.
musty odors in their places
If only I could see their faces.
I think Plural??
lonlyhrtsclub13
12 years 3 months ago
Ian
Good suggestion. I wrote the last line in a hurry and didnt pay attention. Will change later on. Family day at the lake. Be back
lonlyhrtsclub13
12 years 3 months ago
Ian
Changes made...sounds much better. I really have to keep a better eye on tenses..I tend to be a bit lax with them. Talk later....