Rivers edge ............ edit

Here at the waters edge.
Where forest limbs reach for me
There betwixt this greenery
And yon further bank
Within a quietened flow of life.

I hear my own hearts pulse
in sync with the rivers flow
hope you too are trying to see through
the pitch darkness
a light within me
that shines
my love only for ye

day in day out
be it summer
autumn or winter
through the snows of December
I still hear my faint heart’s
hope in murmur
you are somewhere there
waiting for me.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

Comments

Ian.T

11 years 10 months ago

Loved

I like the theme but your first Stanza needs to be rearranged a little.
Standing in front of the river’s edge
inside a thick forest
looking beyond the river’s far edge
into the dense greenery

Something along the lines of:-

Here at the waters edge.
Where forest limbs reach for me
There betwixt this greenery
And yon further bank
Within a quietened flow of life.

I hear my own hearts pulse
in sync with the rivers flow
hope you too are trying to see through
the pitch darkness
a light within me
that shines
my love only for ye

Come young Bard,
Reach out for those words they are not hidden.
Yours as always, Ian.T

loved

11 years 10 months ago

shall

You r wonderful
you post yours anew
rename it
you may
if u wish to

Ian.T

11 years 10 months ago

Loved

This was an outline of a suggestion from me not a new work lol you may adapt it if it is needed to your own words.
Go well young Bard we shall overcome these things, Yours Ian.T

loved

11 years 10 months ago

it's so easy

It’s so easy
to correct and recompose
after reading someone’s prose

there are many poets out here
who can't reach out a word
unless my poetry
ten times they've heard