Rula

Sep 25, 2013 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

You

I wanted to pen an eternal song
its kernel word a stream of honey
and make its abode the heaven
where happiness is bestowed.
The angels' wings hurry
to carry the thought,
flawless and free
and only
echoes
"you"

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

mand

11 years 9 months ago

Nice nonet! Love the

Nice nonet! Love the sentiment and imagery.

Thanks for giving and sharing.

Love Mand xxxxx

Rula

11 years 9 months ago

Mandy

I am happy that you've realized the form and like it.
Thanks for your nice visit.

weirdelf

11 years 9 months ago

Cloying and sweet

it;s redeeming feature is the structure, reducing lines length to add each potency.

Rula

11 years 9 months ago

Jess,

though not sure what did you mean with 'cloy',( I assume it isn't so good), yet I am well satisfied you found the structure a satisfying one.
Thanks for the visit. Much appreciated.

Ian.T

11 years 9 months ago

Rula

As Mand says Yes Yes Nonet, another one of your self tests and you passed this one.
From that year or so ago you have grown in strength and become a great member of Neopoet,
Well done young lady, and the workshop where you excel a journey taken with a lovely poetic patience..
Yours as always, Ian.T

weirdelf

11 years 9 months ago

Ian is right

You have learned, progressed and surpassed yourself so far that I no longer take into account that english is your second language. This is superb structure.

Though personally I still find it cloying.

Rula

11 years 9 months ago

Ian, jess

your kind words mean a lot. I am honored, really!

alidzain

10 years 11 months ago

another new type of poetry!

yes! that's what I like about you. You've got a variety of poetry forms here. so please,please, please, can you start a workshop?

Eagerly waiting
Alid

lovedly

10 years 11 months ago

nice coming from you

so nice to read such a poetry

raj

10 years 11 months ago

Rula

It is nice that Alid's comment brought this poem back in stream. I would like to know in simplified terms what a Nonet form is. I can see that it gets tapered to a single word. Does it also have something to do about a syllable count? Alid is right, you can very well organize a workshop. As Stan says "Holler" and I will join ..lol....

Regards,

Ian.T

10 years 11 months ago

raj

My A-Z on poetry forms or a simple search will give you the structure of the Nonet, I will bring to the top my list of poetic forms A-N it will be in there at the end under "N" LOL.
Take care out there ,
Yours, Ian.T