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White Room
I was in my white padded room
When a black cat walked by
I asked where he was going
Expecting a “meow” in reply
He said he was travelling
Asked if I would tag along
I said perhaps yes
It never felt so very wrong
We arrived pretty soon
And was eating many small delights
I knew what each one would bring
The labels were right
Time was passing
Perhaps seconds perhaps days
I was lost in my mind
It had become a hedge maze
the tea party was over
and In my state fell into some shards
of a broken teapot
and was taken by cards
but before I could bleed
I had already sweat a monsoon
Suddenly I was back, because I nearly forgot
About my white padded room
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
12 years ago
devastating reference to Alice
Was she mad, abused, delusional, you?
This is one of the poems that keeps me coming back here in my poetry-overloaded state.
Superb.
No Crit.