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Parallel dancing almost

We all dance in the nude almost …show all our assets almost …the drum beats almost… in synchronicity …. we show everything almost …people watch us intently almost… we dance almost … in our bikinis ….then someone pranks and loosens the threads...as we hold on to the bikinis … then let them drop almost… we enjoy dancing …as men rub along their hard ons ….we continue to dance …then pair off to another land …all of our own …each one with another one ….we pair..we pair..we pair… as the music continues to play …we dose on and make belief …we two each other dare to relieve…. we roll on in slumber ..almost

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

More from this author

Comments

sanctus

sanctus

11 years 6 months ago

That is a very deep and

That is a very deep and powerful sentiment that you have there. It is well crafted and well put together. Smooth read and great phrasing. Nice work

loved

loved

11 years 6 months ago

keep to urself

son
no one wants ur views
least of all me
as u contribute nothing except curse
ur in need of help

loved

loved

11 years 6 months ago

and note

don't abuse
stay miles away from me ok

weirdelf

weirdelf

11 years 6 months ago

oh Jimm,

Loved is such an easy mark.

I would love to hear some real constructive crit from you.

My own poetry has little to offer at the moment but I will try to give your incisors to sink into.

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 6 months ago

Jess

Your reading of this piece , well if Loved could only capture those tones and your speech then this would be a great piece.
We need to find a way of converting these pieces the other way, you speak we write.
Thank you for this rendition it shone, Yours Ian.T