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EMPTY WINTER
Winter
season of death
short rations
scarcity
empty silent woods
scant of even sunlight
Lest one stops
sits still
and listens
then......
A silent crow flies in clear sky
with lightly whispering wings
the winds in pine tree quietly sighs
a far distant church bell rings
A rustling in the leaves betrays
a nearby scuttling chipmunk
among the duff of browns and grays
air currents carry whiff of skunk
in tree tops, acrobats of gray
with bushy tails cavort and jump
making limbs rattle and sway
then eating acorns on an old stump
Next : out of place hammering
of a large pileated wood pecker
while on a dead tree searching
for a termite double- decker
A bright blue jaybird giving hell
to a coyote seeking food
bats in hollow tree beside a well
awaiting night, they hang and brood
Why you might even see a deer
if you are really lucky
as nuthatches flit both far and near
with their tails all stiff and plucky
So the empty winter time
not so barren after all..............
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
Shirl the pearl
thanks for catching that error. As to natural way of writing, it has turned me into a contortionist lol................stan
Kailashana2
14 years 6 months ago
Niiiice! (Not bad for an old
Niiiice! (Not bad for an old guy rhymer!)
~A
p.s. sorry, couldn't help myself.
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
winter
Even old fat bald codgers can surprise you every once in a while, crone lol..................scribbler
loved
14 years 6 months ago
if you permit me Rise!
if you permit me Rise!
in winter
one rarely sees a dawn ,
sunrise,
that's how we appreciate it
when it,
the sun ,
does in spring rise.
was my wording
a dawning surprise.?
rise,
i mean
sunrise .
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
Hey loved
good to hear from you. I just finished watching 5 consecutive winter sunrises from a below freezing deer stand.Such happenings are what enables me to write of them with a touch of accuracy lol..............scribbler
loved
14 years 6 months ago
HEY LOVED... I MEAN U, SCRIBLLER Stam
I AM below freezing
now its nearly minus 12
will be minus 35
this Jan
which is normal and snows
the sun can't see
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
-12
where do you live, Antarctica ? I think it's cold here at 19 degrees.lol. Stay close to the fire,lest freezing you desire. if you can't feel feet and nose, rest assured that they are froze..................scribbler
Timbo
14 years 6 months ago
love it
love this one mate, certainly brightened my winters day, we have birds in our garden throughout the winter here in England and put birdfood out for them daily. Tim
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
empty
I am glad you enjoyed this experiment in mixed forms................scribbler