When the Journey Beckons Everyone Home

Sunshine shadows
calms the battles,

that the wind can stir inside each restless heart...

melancholy
steals the folly,

well before the passing moments can impart;

sometimes sorrows
rule the 'morrows,

spreading dewdrops that awaken every eye;

in the long run
when the rain's done,

in the rainbow we'll believe enough to try.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

Comments

Rula

11 years 5 months ago

hello doc

I like this write though the spacing needs more attention.
I think some would think this is dark but I understand that you are talking about the last journey where we'll all be called.

S1 L 2 I think you need "calm" not calms if you want it as a verb.
Interesting and a very appealing theme for me.
Thanks for sharing

Esker

10 years 5 months ago

lucky draw to see rainbows sometimes

but they arebeautiful..draw one outside of one
symblizm of hope..beautiful too..
this is a different format.

long width runs of words
spacing
not sure if it would improve reading
with a more denser paragraph stack
drawn in more or not..
i kind of like it like this

its retro like written on an actual typewriter
and the way and expression of it also is
vintage feeling...
which is good....

for affect I like this very much!

thank you