The Complete Poem- Start to Finish

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Cacophony (Complete Poem- Start to Finish WS)

Bleary, blurry eyes,
Stuffy, red nose.
Dragging the legs,
with numbing toes.

Woozy head's dizzy,
sneezin' and sneezin'.
Fevered body's tizzy,
wheezin' and wheezin'.

Please don't start,
not all this pain,
Please don't start,
not the flu again!

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

raj

11 years 4 months ago

Dear Rula

A true cacophony of rhyme, so the title fits pretty well with the verses. I could relate to it even more because right now I am nursing a sneezing nose ...after reading your poem I hope it is not flu ) A nice complete poem starting from symptoms to the eventual flu....being in draft stage I am sure you may want to tweak the last stanza...just a thought...

Regards,

Rula

11 years 4 months ago

Thanks raj

I am sorry if my poem passed you some of the flu's symptoms. :)
Thanks for your kind words. Please be safe.

raj

11 years 4 months ago

Hi Rula

It was only a co-incidence that you posted the poem while i had caught a cold. My comments were just in humor. Fortunately, the poem did not escalate into Flu :)