The Valley of Vision

the 'Valley of Vision' - the plains of derision
has caught my eye - ripping out my bossom
lay captive my heart - tethering claws
captured my wandering mind - releasing nether the vagabond

your cup sends me reeling - tumbling venom-drenched
a haughty tower trembling - quivering in the night cold
never again to be rebuilt - ever awash on the shore

two men once hung from a tree - condemnation rife
the one cursed his life upon himself - excluded realities
the other condemned eternally - for him accursed vindication

neither the valley nor in the plain - hope prescribe
did the eye cast its mark - vision bright become
felled by projectile true - delight, darkened demise
a day no one can rue - smite the wanderlust of hope

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West Moreton, AUS

Favorite Poets: There is nothing quite as boring as a life completely devoid of shadows.

Comments

loved

14 years 6 months ago

Your title VALLEY

put me aghast
how did u know
all about my valley???
i thought you were being visionary ,
i was earlier known as
vision
as PERHAPS
knowest thee.

Frederick Kesner

14 years 6 months ago

I did not know

I just wrote that poem several years ago
without any knowledge of you or that vision
it could be any one's and everyone's vision - this poem
for each human on the planet has their own vision or two.
I am glad though that you have read and responded to this poem.
Cheers.

loved

14 years 6 months ago

THANKS

REGARDS FROM VISION

Hooded Stranger

14 years 6 months ago

CB

CB,

you always manage to write something that makes me stop in my tracks and read again in wonder.

You know I like structure and you have yet again offered a new structure with each line and the use of a dash - that adds something extra to the whole piece without stopping its flow.

Really liked the lines at the beginning being summarised in your own (off-centred) world at the end of each line.

Truly a master of structure.

A great read my friend,

HS ps. apologies for not commenting on your work recently - I've been a busy bee!

Frederick Kesner

14 years 5 months ago

Many thanks HS

I deeply appreciate your visits and interaction/comments on my poems. Hope you don't ever tire. CB