TIME'S TOLL (edit )

I know the time will soon be here
when long sylvan walks will end
the only way I'll see a deer
will be on a road around the bend

For now I'll grin through my knee pain
and limp around, no hint of grace
so as to increase memories' gain
though slow may be my halting pace

For I must hoard remembered sights
while there's still the chance to see
the forest under varied lights
it's understated majesty

I see myself soon sitting 'round
mind full with sojourns passed
of days traversing rugged ground
and thinking youth would always last

And if you choose to walk with me
be patient with my lack of speed
because the time is soon to be
nature's call I'll not be fit to heed

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

scribbler

14 years 9 months ago

toll

my deteriorating knee was really brought home to me on a recent successful hunt in which I was barely able to get a harvested deer from the woods to my truck even though it was only a half mile up hill after crossing a small river. A chore that merely 5 years ago would have been no problem. Being a person who has always taken pride in my strength it infuriates me that 1 bad knee has put such a damper on my mobility. I am glad you enjoyed and understood this write.................stan PS working on a write about refusing to accept the inevitable

scribbler

14 years 9 months ago

hey rosie

I have personally seen the disease and starvation that results from over population of deer and other species. I do my part as an apex predator to try to keep this from happening in areas I frequent. All game I harvest find their way to my table as the ultimate in free range protein, none are shot lightly or needlessly. I know I won't change your stance on this subject but thought I'd clarify mine. your friend...............stan

scribbler

14 years 9 months ago

shirl the pearl

I will continue being an outdoorsman if I have to get an all terrain wheelchair lol...............stan

scribbler

14 years 9 months ago

greetings

hope the day finds you well. The great thing about hunting is the time afield much more than the kill. I spent in excess of 15 days deer hunting this year and didn't get one until the last day of the season, but enjoyed each day in God's cathedral. I'm very pleased you thought enough of this poem to read and comment on it...........................stan

Eduardo Cruz

14 years 9 months ago

Stan

A walk through time so well done, yes I felt myself with you walking side by side enjoying the beauty the eye beholds in a good life.
thanks for sharing this wonderful work.
Always Eddie

scribbler

14 years 9 months ago

toll

I will always visit the forest if only by way of memories lol. Thanks for the time to read and comment on this little ditty..............scribbler