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Feb 23, 2014
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Silver Beast
Silver Beast
I ride the wind
on my silver beast,
riding high on a paved retreat.
They say I’m not worthy
of such a treat
but I smile and wink
as I kick the beast.
The beast and I
have rode long and hard.
We know we are worthy
as we fly on by.
We fly so high
we can look down and see
those who smirked
were wanna-be’s.
A simple grin
and a wave goodbye
off again and away I fly.
By: Sharon Jones
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I wrote this poem for my brother who had a silver Harley. Sadly he has passed away from cancer.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
weirdelf
11 years 4 months ago
I couldn't resist reading this aloud
follow the link.
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/silver-beast-by-sharon-jones
This is a deceptively serious poem, even without the "last few words"
It speaks of freedom and is well crafted. The use of enjambment between stanzas is a risky technique that you carry off well.
I am sorry for your brother's passing yet I feel that you have given a joyous tribute.
weirdelf
11 years 4 months ago
try this link
http://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/silver-beast-by-sharon-jones/s-pW55g
redbaronj
11 years 4 months ago
Cloud
It worked! Thanks for reading it. It's an honor!
alidzain
11 years 4 months ago
i like this
there's a vivid imagery of freedom in this poem.good job!
Alid
redbaronj
11 years 4 months ago
Thanks
Thank you very much for the comment!