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Jan 07, 2011
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Get a Grip
You are pathetic, you make me sick.
The stench of your banality
Permeates every pore.
I look at you and the violence within rises.
I want to destroy you,
Cave you in.
You have no shame,
and expel your innards,
vomit them over those about you.
Smug little features make me want to
Smack you down.
I'm gonna knock out.
A veneer of sweetness
That Makes me wanna puke
I'm gonna knock you down
Im going to expose you
You're a fraud,
You're my enemy
But then I get a grip
Grab at, take a hold of my
sanity.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Jc
Thank you , I have changed it a little, because I wasn't happy with it, hope you still think it's ok.
Love lou
lou
14 years 6 months ago
To be honest
It is based on the way I feel about someone who i was close to , he betrayed me and has been bending my mum's ear in an effort to get me back.
Lou xx
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 6 months ago
lou
I like the way at the end you take control, If your anger was raised to that point, there is no point to continue in such a relationship. let him speak all he wants, if he would have listen to you from the start he would not be begging rifgt now. this not about you it's about him and he knows that now when it's to late. isn't sad that sometime people don't realizie until after the fact. stay strong girl, you can do way better!
always Eddie
I like the way you get anger it's very controlled.
Always Eddie
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Eddie
Thank you your very kind.
Lou
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Shirl me Girl
Think i'm too emotional. But thank you.
love lou
Candlewitch
14 years 6 months ago
Dear Lou,
Very strong emotions in this piece. You've described the way I feel about an ex-friend to a "t". I helped her and she betrayed me. I also loaned her a large sum of cash that I will never see again.
Im going to expose you
You're a fraud,
You're my enemy
But then I get a grip
Grab at, take a hold of my
sanity.
Can't let their bile poison us. I know it is hard to get over and not respond. I find I must sit on my hands.
love, cat
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Cat
it is hard to control the anger when someone double crosses you, so thought i'd channel it into a poem.
love lou