Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Mar 18, 2014
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
D E C O R UMLIVIDITY
we lay like ruinous worth
the mirror alive with unspoken
movement
a storm mouth of static
from the black ovid speaker
voices voices voices
beneath the hiss
breath of a calling
the darkness
filling up the mirror
rising like a flood
we will float from the
uneven steps of the
landing
in this dream
separate
with one heart
carried in its cage
a bird taken
forth into the
depths
descendant
to breath the air
on the other side
the whirl of static
like gravel
on a fender
down a lane
with limbs
cascading
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
11 years 4 months ago
Steve
A vision of things held in ones eyes then taken to heart, loved the mind reaction to the read..
Just one tiny tiny thing:-
descendant
to breath the air (in this line should it be "Breathe" ??)
on the other side...
Take care, have a great day, Yours Ian.T
Esker
11 years 4 months ago
tiny descendant..
please elaborate your reaction to the word Ian..
thank you!
Ian.T
11 years 4 months ago
Steve
The comment or small fault was of the word Breath, the word Descendant seemed to me to be OK but is that word also in the wrong time zone, as it is a person doing something ie: coming down a rope or from a height.
The descendant had sore hands from rope burns or something like that I will leave that with you.
My original tidy was the word Breath...
Take care young wolf the season of much food is arriving.
Fortunes change as the seasons flow.
Yours Ian.T
emeka ozurumba
11 years 4 months ago
death at the dawn
propitiation seemed a futile rite......
fate stern grimly on
Esker
11 years 4 months ago
okay ian
breathe was a mispell..
descendant is the image in the mirror..
like a relative..a twin..an other from another realm yes..
personas too..
we are driven by genes
behaviours etc..
you act like your mother..
father..uncle
etc....
mirrors are magical..
thank you!
weirdelf
11 years 4 months ago
Once again, I can but read.
Tell me if you want me to stop doing it.
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/d-e-c-o-r-umlividity-by-esker
weirdelf
11 years 4 months ago
I do have to say, once again
I really do not like the way you are fucking around with your titles. To me they are so artificial, the antithesis of the authentic imagery and meaning of your poetry.
Esker
11 years 4 months ago
then they are a sucess!
thank you!