Timbo

Jan 08, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

All I Need Is You.

Quiet meal, just the two of us
is something we still like to share.
It’s always easier to be ourselves
When no one else is there.

Slow dance, is still our favourite dance.
you and I together, me holding you near.
While you listen as I softly whisper
words of love in your ear.

Gentle passion, that’s how we want it
when you share your love with me.
Still romantic and always tender.
That’s how we like it to be.

Night falls and you share my pillow
feels good holding you close, like I do
Dawn breaks and then you kiss me
and I know, all I need is you.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Favorite Poets: Rather than poets I tend to be influenced by songwriters and have a love of lyrics.

Comments

Timbo

14 years 6 months ago

thank you

Thank you Ian.

Ian.T

10 years 6 months ago

Timbo

Have read it again 3 years later and it is still good for me.
Since then I went out of Neopoet for a while a couple of days actually that's why this one had only one comment, Yours as usual Ian.T

Timbo

10 years 5 months ago

thanks

Thanks Ian,
Very kind of you to revisit my poem, I've been missing due to Internet failure but all working now.
Tim

weirdelf

10 years 6 months ago

gentle, loving and intimate

so difficult to achieve without stepping into the doggies doo of sentimentality.
A couple of minor stumbles in meter that I'm sure you could fix quite easily. Can you hear them?
Well done sir!

Timbo

10 years 5 months ago

Jess, thank you for visiting my poems, always appreciated. Been missing due to Internet failure but sorted now with new supplier.
This I wrote for my wife, reflecting our long term and now mature love for each other, which has stood the test of time for over 40 years!
Yes, probably a bit sentimental for you, but your comment is encouraging. It's nice we can all be different but enjoy this poetry thing together in our own way.
Take care mate,
Tim

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

yes - i agree with jess

Lol - no doggie-doo sentimentality here. I really like this - almost brings a lump to my throat

My only suggestion is to drop 'you and i' from the second verse of stanza 2 for meter's sake.... i don't see any major problems with the other lines,...

Really like the ending...

Lovely to be reading you again timbo
Love judy
xxx

Timbo

10 years 5 months ago

thank you

Thank you for commenting on this poem which reflects my long term relationship with my wife.
Been together a very long time yet now!
I see what you mean and the 'you and I', will give it some thought,
take care,
Tim

mand

10 years 6 months ago

Beautiful!

Just lovely - romantic, sentimental and a story of eternal love.

Well done :)

LOve Mand xxxx

Timbo

10 years 5 months ago

Thank you Mand, lovely to

Thank you Mand, lovely to here from you again.
Tim