Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jun 20, 2014
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
a little rhyme in fantasy time
Dreams in bottles
and maps on walls,
fairy tales told
of knights so tall.
Dragons and maidens
battle in flaming towers,
as unicorns jump
over plants and flowers.
Elves and dwarves
dwell in a hole,
a witch who steals
your heart and soul.
Griffins soaring
high on the clouds,
wraths who scream
ever so loud.
Shadows whose form
shift in the night,
screams that shiver
to bring on fright.
Angels that sing
as pure as the sun,
a ring that possesses
your mind and runs.
Ghouls rip out
your stomach and guts,
evil cars that crawl
over bodies and ruts.
Zombies who want
to feast on your flesh,
wizards with wand
slowing the thresh.
The fantasy world
can be what you will,
your mind is unlimited
if you hold it quite still.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I played with this a little to fill some time, its not meant to be a serious work just a little bit of fun lol thanks for reading :)
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Lenny of Cohen
11 years 1 month ago
Mind Blowingly Good!
Jayne! I love this hypnotic wonder piece of writing! Its perfect! We are yet to discover how powerful our imagination is!
Bravo my valued poetic friend!!!!
Seren
11 years 1 month ago
Wow, I was just playing around
I am so glad you didn't think it childish lol I was worried about that, thanks hun I really appreciate it
love Jayne xxx
Lenny of Cohen
11 years 1 month ago
Far removed
from childish Jayne! I absolutely love this fine piece of writing!
scribbler
11 years 1 month ago
Hi
This started as the lord of the rings and then wound up as the walking dead lol. I guess fantasy Is what one makes it..............stan
alidzain
11 years 1 month ago
Hi Jayne
even your "playing around' sounds good. This piece offers a lot of imaginations. Good job.
hugs and love
Alid
Geezer
11 years 1 month ago
Ony one...
critique! It needs a different word than [ battle ] maybe [ fight ] to keep the rhythm going?
Not childish at all. Of course you know that I like the ghoulish parts? Killer says hi. Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee
raj
11 years ago
Dearest Jayne
In each one of us a bit of the child stays alive and so does innocence. This was a pleasure read and once can make out you let your fantasy lose and rode on its wave, The only change I would suggest is "captures" instead of " possesses" in "a ring that possesses"..
good to see you take a swing on the lighter side of life...
much love n hugs...
Ian.T
11 years ago
Jayne
A lovely piece of fun
This is good for everyone
If they do not like
They can take a hike
Back to where they come from
La La , Yours Sparrow xx