TAPESTRY - THE FIRST OF A SERIES OF SENRYU FROM MY OLD NOTEBOOK

Raspberry essence
On crushed ice, the sun bled
Into the clouds

Gliding on thermals
A trapeze artist's envy
Eagles in the sky

Impeccably tuned
Strings of a violin
Bowed to perfection

Woodpecker's echoes
A rhythmic plaintiveness
Spring day stillness

Dripping water
Frozen into icicles
Thoughts trapped in flight

The wind swirl sends dust
Into spirals, creating
A devils horn

From its quiver, the
moon sends silver arrows
Into the sea

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: IND

Favorite Poets: Apart from Walt Whitman, the poet, there are a range of painters who have made a great impact on my work and life. Painters such as Henri Matisse, Pablo Picasso, Mark Rothko, Vincent Van Gogh and a host of others.

Comments

Ian.T

11 years 2 months ago

Leonard

I loved your collection of Senryu, and as you said they were from a while back, I have your reply, and as I hate editing others works on the stream, I shall keep the edits I did in my records.
Yours Ian.T

Leonard

11 years 2 months ago

Hi Ian

I like your suggestions so please free to make as many as you wish. It's always good to hear a candid, constructive suggestion.

Cheers

Ian.T

11 years 2 months ago

Leonard

Thanks for your like of my suggestions, I usually send them by PM but didn't this time.
I have copies of them, they end up in my others work section of my records so that I can reference them if needed.
Great to have you here again and I wish many of the others would be so active, I know many have problems but if they can submit poems then they can critique others works .
Take care , Yours Ian.T

Leonard

11 years 2 months ago

Hi Ian

Thanks for reading and commenting. You know, most people I know are hung up on the 5-7-5 format but if you check up on google, you will see that they specifically mention that there is no need for strict adherence to the 5-7-5 format, In fact, many of the haiku written by masters do not follow this format strictly.
thanks - its really nice hearing from you

Ian.T

11 years 2 months ago

Leonard

Yes I am aware of the relaxing of the strict old Japanese way of writing, but I was just being bloody minded this morning lol
Probably a lot of the strict forms are lost in translation, my Daughter in law is Japanese so I suppose I go over the top sometimes, You take care and I will edit my Edit out of the equation but it was just an exercise for me,
Take care, Yours Ian.T