alidzain

Aug 29, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Fearing Death

Death left a void
and filled it with ingredients of sadness,
the tears of a mourning mother,
the ceasing of joy and laughter,
the calmness forsaken in the moment,
as the air greets respectful silence,
one last goodbye denied,
in the sudden end of lite.

Yet the worst I fear
is to be a memory,
buried underground.

While my legacy of love,
peeled away from beating hearts

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

Comments

wesley snow

10 years 10 months ago

Only one suggestion.

Grammatically we need "worst" instead of "worse".

Yet the worse (worst) I fear

alidzain

10 years 10 months ago

Thank you,sir

for the visit and the correction.

Alid

wesley snow

10 years 10 months ago

I almost forgot.

I don't know what your schedule is like, but I would be pleased if you looked in on the syllabus for Dramatic Verse, Rula's and my next workshop. You might find it enlightening.
That goes for you to Lovedly. I never get to see you in a workshop. That's too sad.

lovedly

10 years 10 months ago

lovedly is technical

loved is still real

glad you know
how adamant is loved
shy of revealing ignorance too

at best
at worse.
in free verse

lovedly

10 years 10 months ago

deleted

double post

lovedly

10 years 10 months ago

thanks

then I will=have

Ian.T

10 years 10 months ago

Alid

Why do you stand there at were they put my body.
I am not there, but here at your side,
Just call my name and I will draw close to you
Fear nothing as I will never go away.
What more can I say..
Yours Ian.T

alidzain

10 years 10 months ago

Hello Ian

my fear is for my loved ones
for the world can be seductive
distracting them from all that matters
while time slips away, unnoticed....

Alid

weirdelf

10 years 10 months ago

I fear pain, not death

To fear death is to me like fearing eating and breathing, it is a necessity of life. I fear the death of others as I fear pain and illness. All is one.

When humanity 'discovered' death, in a cognitive, sentient form, it immediately tried to learn to beat it, first through religion, then medicine, then lasting achievements like art. All futile, even the pyramids will be gone in a few million years.

Yet if death has a purpose, a redeeming feature, it is that it produces fine verse like this. My compliments to your "rage against the dying of the light".

alidzain

10 years 10 months ago

Jess

Thank you for the visit and the comment.

Alid

lovedly

10 years 10 months ago

u did not read

my fear of death poetry
inspired by you
please do