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Jan 13, 2011
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MEN"S HEARTS
Some hearts run with ice and fire
cold of hate, heat of desire
with souls formed of solid stone
hence from birth they are alone
What they think is love, pure lust
which in time turns into rust
leaving him to seek elsewhere
for another fool to care
Guard your heart so full and pure
before you open it be sure
ere the push proceeds to shoving
that he's capable of loving
But don't give up on your quest
for a true heart in manly chest
for such is out there to be found
you just have to look around
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
mona
14 years 6 months ago
and it can be women's hearts too. is not it?
my fav.
Guard your heart so full and pure
before you open it be sure
ere the push proceeds to shoving
that he's capable of loving
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
hello mona
In my limited experience men with cold hearts outnumber women with the same. Always good to see you here.................scribbler
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
hearts
that the tough part isn't it ? the push proceeds to shoving is a take-off of when push comes to shove lol...............scribbler
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
shirl the pearl
I've had this on my mind for quite a while and finally got around to putting pen to paper. Still not quite happy with it ,but will improve it over time................stan
mand
14 years 6 months ago
Hi Stan
An age old problem tackled with grace, with wise words of warning. I like the way you encourage the reader not to give up " you just have to look around ".
Don't know what you could change on this one, It's a good rounded out poem, easy to read and understand.
Well done Stan
Love Mand xxxxxxxx
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
hearts
Thank you mand, but it seems to lack something lol.........................stan
Kailashana2
14 years 6 months ago
Perhaps this is one you might
Perhaps this is one you might try in freeform Scribbler? I think you know why. Lots of good stuff here. But then again, I don't know shit from apple butter, though I've lucked out on men for the mostly.
;-)
~A
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
hearts
I might just do that.By the way,you should refrain from apple butter sandwiches lol................scribbler
scribbler
14 years 6 months ago
hearts
just don't ignore the last stanza,'cause he Is out there. I am very pleased you liked this.........................stan