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This poem is part of the workshop:

Can you make a limerick serious?

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LESSON (edit)

He still remembers the exact date
when his family was lost to fate
on a clear cool autumn day
terrorists had their own way
thus teaching him just how to hate

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

S

scribbler

10 years 7 months ago

Hi gem

Since I'm still a bit lacking in knowing anapest from iambic or any other pest, I kinda based the rhythm on the famous "There was a young girl from Nantucket" limerick. But I Still have a tendency to add false poetic voice to my poetry which is one reason I have a hard time judging my own stuff. I'll leave this as is for a bit as as a bad example and let it gather some more comments. Thank you for your honest feed back.......stan

lovedly

lovedly

10 years 7 months ago

read it a bit slowly then see them coming

some typo or igno.......

quite or quiet
two different meanings

lose and loose
one can become loose any time
both will lose

many more I have in mind
one at a time

don't jump just sharing

Simon Smythe

Simon Smythe

10 years 7 months ago

thats a quiz

I read it with tong in cheek as it's unspecific. terrorist, freedom fighter, media lunch.
I hope that's how it was meant

Simon

S

scribbler

10 years 7 months ago

Hi Simon

It Was meant to be non specific to a minor degree but with a bit of truth mixed in also. I'm pleased to have you come by and interpret it as you please lol........stan (A poem, once posted, belongs more to the reader than the writer)

Simon Smythe

Simon Smythe

10 years 7 months ago

who taught who

hate

terrorism is a reaction - they don't do it for fun
jus sayin . . . I also appreciate other perspectives

Argue - find out what's right not who's right

S

scribbler

10 years 7 months ago

terrorism

A great many countries today have committed terrorist acts in the past. I think the definition of modern terrorism is intentionally attacking civilians as opposed to military....

Simon Smythe

Simon Smythe

10 years 7 months ago

ok . . .

I view it as any person or organisation that uses terror as a weapon, and then I separate them from the people of the country they operate in. They never represent.

S

scribbler

10 years 7 months ago

That is

why such animals are so hard to defeat, they immerse themselves among the general population.......stan

Ian.T

Ian.T

10 years 7 months ago

Stan

I remember that in the first "London Illustrated News" magazine of the first world war, the Germans were called scoundrels at first then as the war progressed they became all sorts of enemy names.
These mags were saved for a soldier that went to that war, when he returned they were the last thing he wanted to read so they were put in a shed for 70 years until I gave them to a school in South Africa, They used them as a teaching for the older children, I also gave them the complete works of Shakespeare by Charles Knight, that was a good wide range of learning there lol.
The British were the worse soldiers as far as giving ground than any I know, maybe their positive way of fighting was the reason for their success in the world.
We must have taught many countries how to fight, just look at your own troops and how they evolved.
It is a pity that a peace force didn't do so well.
A good write there Stan, and full of truths, Yours Ian.T
PS:- just on my desk here is a photo of my Father in his uniform not very clean and two Ghurkha soldiers from 1914-18 war, somewhere in Egypt or ????.

S

scribbler

10 years 7 months ago

hi Ian

History has shown it Is possible for a terrorist force to become a force for change but too often the change isn't for the better. Thanks for coming by and sharing a bit of your past.........stan

lovedly

lovedly

10 years 7 months ago

read understand then question

terrorism
[ter-uh-riz-uh m]

Examples
Word Origin

noun
1.
the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes.
2.
the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization.
3.
a terroristic method of governing or of resisting a government

Ian.T

Ian.T

10 years 5 months ago

Simon

Always remember that the Cyclops only sees things in two dimensions, Now they reckon when the Big Bang happened there were many dimensions released that we cannot see or even think of , I always disagree that time is the fourth dimension, relative position would be a better bet lol.
Take care out there, Yours Ian.T

Simon Smythe

Simon Smythe

10 years 5 months ago

Hi Ian, about those dimensions . . .

Yes the Cyclops sees in 2D but so do we. We have a better spatial awareness but it's only the effect of light on matter that creates the illusion of 3 dimensions. If we could see in 3D we could see through walls. Your dead right about time though, all dimensions have time involved with them. The 4th has no monopoly on that. The tesseract is a 4D cube but we can't imagine what it truly looks like as we only see in 2D though it's beautiful nonetheless. Theoretically there are infinite dimensions.

- My art teacher once said "if time is the 4th dimension then evolution must be the 5th" meaning (I dragged it out of him) that space + time = evolution. I just had to investigate . . . he was good.

S

scribbler

10 years 7 months ago

lol

yeah, he was just doing what he does

weirdelf

weirdelf

10 years 6 months ago

What can I say

The rhythm of life (limerick)
has a powerful beat.
It can't be fucked with.

S

scribbler

10 years 6 months ago

Hello Jess

Yeah, but if it can be knocked out of rhythm you can trust me to do it lol. Good to see you and hope things are going well for you this holiday season. I, for one, am hopeful Santa brings me something I want as opposed to what I deserve ............stan

S

scribbler

10 years 6 months ago

competition

is almost the same as a contest. Keep an eye open for the beginning of a monthly Neo poetry contest. Should be fun. And with my now limping on Both knees being unbalanced is easy lol.......stan