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Nov 24, 2014
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The Dreamer
I am a dreamer:
I put pen to paper and will it to happen;
it never does...
it never proves me right...
Emotions cloud my judgement,
Forgiveness a second nature:
Only pain is returned
my reflection is of a girl covered dirt...
My heart is sucked dry,
every emotion gone.
i am the shell of the girl that used to be,
a girl wishing on a star
About This Poem
Last Few Words: It is a poem about someone who lives in their head and constantly believes in fairy tales and movies. The capital and small letters all contribute to how this person views herself...
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Barbara Writes
10 years 11 months ago
Hi maskedbywords
Welcome to Neopoet. Your poetry is well written. Poetry about a dead loved one and one left behind to suffer the lost. The emotion is clear. I keep thinking of the young man mb and his young motherr suffering his lost. I see its the death of a girl and a girl now a shell of herself. A great poem. I love it.
alidzain
10 years 11 months ago
Hi there!
Welcome to neopoet from me as well. This is a good write.
Alid