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Jan 09, 2015
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Fraudulence
silence. absence.
no one will speak, and no one will step up
and either way we are hungry.
hungry for food, but what does that matter
when the hunger for solace is greater?
when paper becomes water
and your family starts to drown
you start to think about the bigger picture.
the bigger school. if you'll ever get there.
you wonder what good your paycheck will do
in your own bank account
and you wonder what you can really give.
what good does coming out of the gutter do
if you're going to get beaten for the struggle
of being in it?
About This Poem
Last Few Words: you have no idea. (edit - took some of stan's suggestions)
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
10 years 5 months ago
howdy
You raise a relevant question here. I think that the inflation of our currency (which our gov't denies is happening) has just begun and will get worse before it gets better. No real surprise as inflation has been used before to pay off debt with increasingly inflated dollars. Only suggestion on your poem would be to consider breaking it into a few stanzas so as to avoid the "word wall" appearance.....stan
emogothgirl
10 years 5 months ago
stan
hard times, man. the word wall thing is a good point, but i'm not sure how to go about avoiding it with such a short poem. any suggestions?
Ian.T
10 years 5 months ago
Emo
Just a couple of break points and the loss of the odd "and" the words are mostly all the same, except where the Gutter took the stage,
Great write, Yours Ian.T
emogothgirl
10 years 5 months ago
stan
thanks for the suggestions, I like it much better now!