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Jan 11, 2015
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The Baron Bulltookensheraku (humor shop)
The Baron Bulltookensheraku
ate pork the wolf dragged in thru
the door of Pulwikit Castle.
The wolf got the bones
and a piece of the girl
who rode with her red cloak a flashing.
When Charming rode up
to rescue the broad
she said, “No thanks lover, I’m happy.”
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Humor is actually rather difficult for me.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
raj
10 years 5 months ago
Hi Wesley
In the last few words you have said "humor is actually rather difficult for me"..after reading your poem I believe you are not short on imagination going wild...
regards,
judyanne
10 years 5 months ago
lol
yes, funny and enjoyable
me thinketh thou protesteth too much about the difficulty of writing humour
love judy
xxx
China Blue
10 years 5 months ago
Wesley
thanks for the input
short tp the point and as funny as hell lol
Ian.T
10 years 5 months ago
Wes
See it wasn't as hard as you thought, I cant wait for the punch line, very good write so far lol.
Yours Waiting for you 2 read mine,
Ian
scribbler
10 years 5 months ago
Hey Wes
There Is that eating which can be done sans cannibalism you dirty old man lmao. Very funny......stan
lonlyhrtsclub13
10 years 5 months ago
This
is dark and humorous. Close to something I might write! So the wolf got his cake and ate it too? Love it!
wesley snow
10 years 5 months ago
I feel like a nineteenth century Russian composer.
I hate the thing, but everyone else likes it? Just strange, but thank you all (actually, I think the name is kind of cool and you really can pronounce it. It took me some practice though).
lonlyhrtsclub13
10 years 5 months ago
I thought
it was creative. Very unlike you but it worked well :)
mand
10 years 5 months ago
Hi Wes
I like it too! it's a sophisticated poem with quirky humour - the ending made me laugh!
( it's a contrast from the rest of the poem - that's what makes it funny ) .
Great write :)
Love Mand xxxxx