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Step Out The Door (Feb. Contest)
Step out the door to clear the doubt.
You'll learn for sure what life's about.
What's good, what's bad you shall explore,
to clear the doubt, step out the door.
Unlatch the lock, lash out the fear.
find out your way through hope and cheer.
The journey is a joyful walk,
Lash out the fear, unlatch the lock.
Knock hard to learn what, where and why.
Detect the world with naked eye.
It doesn't lie, but helps you gain.
What, where and why, knock hard to learn.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BtrOTBtHGZjXWl3fGRt_FxiDwSjWUhDk57xOck0/?ut…
About This Poem
Last Few Words: "Gaining Knowledge" is an alternative title. I thought this might work better for the contest.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Sparrow
10 years 5 months ago
Rula
Excellent write, all these doors and not one love story yet lol,
Take care Young Lady, Yours Ian..
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
Ian :)
Thanks for the lovely comment.
Sparrow
10 years 5 months ago
Good Morning
Have a lovely day out there and may you not have to seek those things you need.
Want for nothing,
Yours Ian
judyanne
10 years 5 months ago
great write Rula
I love the way you have worked the first and last verses of each stanza
and nice blank verse iambic tetrameter
best of luck in the contest
love judy
xxx
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
doubled
.
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
Judy
Many thanks.
Wish you the same dear.
gregwa8
6 years 5 months ago
I love it too!
I love it too!
Rula
6 years 5 months ago
Appreciate it Greg
thank you
mand
10 years 5 months ago
Rula
Yes I agree with above comments - looks like the prize is going to be split at least three ways! :)
love Mand xxx
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
hello Mand
Appreciate your visit dear!
It's fun what counts, isn't it?
mand
10 years 5 months ago
:)
Absolutely!
alidzain
10 years 5 months ago
Salam, Rula
I might be wrong but it seems like you are trying to rhyme it, if so, then that last stanza's last 2 lines' ending words are off - "gain" and "learn"
Alid
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
may be
near rhyme. Fortunately it isn't a sonnet after all.
raj
10 years 5 months ago
ummmm
I remember having posted a comment on this...dunno where and how it disappeared...anyways it was appreciative...making you a strong contender to win the contest...
Regards,
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
No problem raj
You indeed left a comment under the main thread, Feb. Contest blog.
Thanks for the supportive comment.
scribbler
10 years 5 months ago
Hey Rula
All the contestants seem bent on making judge's job harder and this is no exception......stan
Esker
8 years 4 months ago
cheer from the sturm
this shines
im basking in it
food bank a man
cursed...'fucking asshole'
wondered if it was I
so I lumbered over to him
he seemed to want to in
a hurry to hop on his electric
three wheeled car...those things
people need when their legs
are done...lungs shot..legs bad
asked him how many batteries
they take..
'many' he mumbled
flipping the lid like he was
working on something
'i have a large hammer...wrench'
which i do..my pedal falls off
stripped nut on bike...
still fumbling...it was the seat
adjustment...
maybe he was cursing the seat
but then a key fell from the latch
aside where he parks his butt
'why thats the key i was looking
for for over a week' suddenly
joy lit his eyes...
'he looked at me'
'it was meant to be'
thank u..he said
but i know he was talking
to the luck
attitude changes everything
but it came from the heart
not the head
nor hands...
a great day..like this poem
beautiful and striking
like sunshine
on a stormy day!
thank U Rula!
W
Rula
6 years 5 months ago
Mark
Really happy with your passing by.
Thank you
Eumolpus
6 years 5 months ago
a poem from 4 years ago!
and the comments are such a nice remembrance of Esker.
The message is clear and well presented.
I would just suggest as you have 12 lines in sonnet form, why not add a rhymed couplet to make it a sonnet? The form is most inviting, and I think the poem could use the resolution and vague poetic truth the last lines of a sonnet usually offer. Just a thought.
Rula
6 years 5 months ago
Thank you Mark
the poem was a first or 2nd attempt tothe 'Swap Quatrain" and I was so happy with the result but I really appreciate the thought, it reflects your kind appreciation.
http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/swapquatrain.html
Thank you!