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Dogs and Foxes
In the old games,
the games that wealthy landowners
played in the woods
our kind was run to ground.
We were chased,
the terrified and cornered
until we had nowhere left to run,
even the trees provided no safety,
and the houses of worship
no refuge.
And you might think
that I've given up.
You might even think
that I've left you in the cold,
and maybe you'd say
that "sensible people"
and their sensible solutions
have won the day.
But how soon we forget
that foxes are meant to run,
meant to scurry and dodge.
And how soon we forget
it is dogs
With their bared fangs
and sharpened claws
that hunt them.
And while we might seem cornered,
and while we might appear hopeless,
And while life may have given us
a hand that seems unfair,
we'll run.
As far as we can,
as fast as we can,
until we outpace
the dogs and their masters.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
weirdelf
10 years 4 months ago
A triumphal return, mate
It's been too long.
With their barred fangs [bared? If their fangs were behind bars they wouldn't present much threat, eh? Grins]
I took the liberty of recording this for you and posting it to the Neopoet.com page on Facebook.
https://soundcloud.com/user536630132/dogs-and-foxes-by-mark-wilson
Conect11
10 years 4 months ago
Oops!
Bared indeed!
Conect11
10 years 4 months ago
Recording
Jess, that was all kinds of epic, mate. Thank you so much!
emogothgirl
10 years 4 months ago
well
you talk about two different things here, and manage to do it seamlessly in one poem. bravo man.
firstly, it's important to understand that I think EVERYTHING is a metaphor, so I obviously see the humanness of the struggle in this. but - and this is the wonderful part - I still see the fox. it's a perfect mix in my opinion. I have no crit, I like it very much. may I post it to our official blog?
Mag
Conect11
10 years 4 months ago
Thanks Mag!
Please feel free :)