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Mar 12, 2015
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FOR NOW
A long awaited southern wind
arrived with warm damp air today
bringing tiresome winter to its end
as scraps of old snow fade away.
Not quite yet time to turn the page
to springtime blooms and nesting birds
or thunderstorms which blow and rage.
Winter has not spoken its last words.
Even so, the sun feels good
on my head which is hat free
and I ain't sure if it should
but, for now, that's good enough for me.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
judyanne
10 years 4 months ago
an easy read
I enjoyed the visuals, especially the ending, baldy :)
But found verses 3 and 4 of stanza one a tad long and off rhythm
Love judy
xxx
scribbler
10 years 4 months ago
Easy
is exactly what I was aiming for. I'll check out those 2 lines and see what I can do in edit. But the changes still might not be perfect in flow because , as you know, I place a lot of value on message. Appreciate your coming by......stan
judyanne
10 years 4 months ago
lol
Don't be so lazy
Find the words that fit the rhythm and still say what you want them to
Do you think the greats didn't search for days for the words that fit both criteria?
xxx
scribbler
10 years 4 months ago
methodology
I know a lot of people don't post until they consider their poem almost perfect. If it works for them....fine. I tend to post stuff that's almost raw then keep picking at it and improving (I hope) on it over a long period of time. Sometimes over years. This is why some of even my oldest stuff pops back up on stream.
I guess I Should endeavor to compete against the "greats" but I'm doing well to just measure up to the "goods" lol. BTW, already done one minor edit