Lamp (Exploration of style workshop, freeform- revised)

We know what Elliot said, but is it not for you to give us a modern you comment on these things.
I know you have an opinion of Free form SO ??
I know I am not part of the workshop but I am a busy body sometimes lol,
Yours as always, Ian

The quote overwhelms the poem I think. I'd not suggest abandoning the quote but, rather, expanding the poem. One good way would be by concentrating on and expanding upon the next to last line. You could do something like :
I have passion
yet fear to loose it
lest it run beyond control

I have madness
a two edged sword
which frees but also
knows not right from wrong

And I have a bit of craft
which demands the best I have
my instruction manual

Just an idea for you to improve upon..........stan

As it stands, with the poetry so scant, it's more of a blog.

But let's get to something more important... the quote is riveting. I feel I live that day to day. How I would love to be a bit dull. Less emotion surely, but less "personality"...
Wherever did you come by it my good man?

That I have seen from Weirdelf...And I know that many Like their poets and
the laurels and all...I sing songs and remember two lyrics..My brain gone
long ago....I waited for comments to add here because I was unsure if it
was mere pushing about of a reworked poem or an old poem reposted
which is nice to read here on the site.... After the steam and kettle
poetry interchange I see I dont have the insights of many....I did use the
word steam though in a poem lately so thats good!!! Like weirdelf says
read poetry!! gives you the words to work your own works...

Its quite insightful and grounded and sound..

Thank You!

like albums...songs..
certian feel to a singer..
or writer...lyric writer..
Then they move on..keel over
or switch bands...
I keep evolving here...Now its more creepier
darker...Just going further into the jungle
and matrix of human study..
Going native...slowly..

We do read each others works
and the affect and word pick up
line sharing..idealogies get
worked into our works..

Its nice to get the sparks sometimes
to create visions to write
and sometimes the rain

Thank You

Not part of the workshop but feel a need:-

You pushed the limits of the freeform but with a delicate touch, you needed to make new boundaries.
I have had another look at the piece and found it needed a few extra lines, to make the title adequate.

Lamp:-

Shall I then reach out from this imposed madness?
Embracing those, that to me are masters,
I will seek that light that teases the dark void.
Bathe in its mysteries and write with my soul/feelings.
Honouring the masters ways
I shall write with the aid of my dimming lamp.

I feel that this piece is great, yet it is like listening to half a record, hope these lines will show you what I am talking about.
Take care young man and know we are there for you,
Yours Ian

but, as with the general consensus, I think the length of the quote spoils the impact of your thought...
I wouldn't suggest you lengthen the poem however, rather I'd suggest you try to shorten, or paraphrase the quote...

(I actually don't think you need the quote at all)

and I really like the use of 'lamp' as the light of inspiration - very clever imo
love judy
xxx