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Rula
Rula
May 24, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

An Exploration of Style, Subject, and Critique

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Beaming Joy ( Exploration style, subject, critique WS)

Sun beams through crystal
a dioptrical rainbow
a marked refraction

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

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Comments

judyanne

judyanne

10 years 1 month ago

what is your subject again Rula?

A lovely haiku.... but I don't pick your subject.... so I went back and see it is 'dish' .... sorry, but I don't picture one.... am I supposed to? Or am I missing something?

still, a very descriptive write
Love judy
xxx

Rula

Rula

10 years 1 month ago

I thought

Crystal is an indirect citation of the dish though I agree it could be a glass or anything else.

Rula

Rula

10 years 1 month ago

it is prisim

I wanted to create a joyful, colorful little piece.

Pugilist

Pugilist

10 years 1 month ago

I had to return to the list as well

While the inference was not directly clear, I can make the connection between the subject and the haiku.

My only concern was the last line, "fraction" just doesn't feel right. I would try to work "refraction" into the line.