Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Storytelling in Verse (sempiternal): The Horror Story
The Son of Evangeline (Horror Story WS Part 2) Sequel to ''Return of The Werewolf''
The Devil stood before Marcus,
enjoying his grief and despair.
There's another way to break the curse
the key is a woman, so fair..
Evangeline, Marcus's real mother,
the witch-guardian of the forest
forced to hand over Marcus to another
to save him from duress.
A Devil's worshipper had seduced her
to have a child for his master's rebirth.
A mortal host, one born with power
to prove his own fealty's worth.
but Evangeline had foiled his plan
and Andre suffered his master's rage
which brought his life to an end
and the Devil entered his flesh instead.
For years he ordered his servants
to seek for the son of Evangeline
The long wait, no longer his burden
He had him where he want him
The Devil took advantage of Marcus's anger
to kill his innocence with the thrust of sin.
Still his pure mageblood won't let him enter
the young man's body to claim his win.
''Even if I can't claim him wholly,
he'll be my puppet who'll do my bidding,
spreading bloodshed and chaos for me.
You've lost, Guardian.'' the Devil said, laughing
The wind rose and the nearby trees rustled.
Their fallen leaves whirled under the moonlight.
The animals bowed, silence filled the world
as Evangeline arrived for the final fight
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This is the sequel to the poem '' Return Of The Werewolf''. Marcus is the werewolf. The Devil is the one who summoned him. Evangeline is Marcus's real mother whom he has never met before.This piece described what has happened to her and her son which led to their separation. By now, Marcus is suffering greatly after his humanity has been reawakened in the previous poem.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
9 years 11 months ago
This is...
a great story! The title is good, the story tells smoothly and I like the ending. [Is it the end?]
The rhythm is a little choppy but not bad. ~ Gee
alidzain
9 years 11 months ago
Hi Gee
This piece is the sequel to ''Return Of The Werewolf.'' I've posted for Wes's Horror Story Workshop. Marcus is the werewolf who was being used by the Devil. He don't know much about his mother who is the witch-guardian, so his power is actually limited and became a curse to him as he has no control over it. With his mother's aid however he will realise what he really is and became a shapeshifter-guardian that he is meant to be. I still need help in trying to express my thoughts for the story. If you have any ideas for improvements, feel free to share with me.After this will be part 3 . Some of what I've told you will be included in it. They will bring horror to the people who do evil, showing no mercy to the merciless.
Alid
wesley snow
9 years 11 months ago
This may be just me.
Remember that when a poem is being read it is not the poet being judged, but the reader.
I figured it out in the end, but on a first read and without your comment this part confused me from time to time.
Read it carefully and as you do pretend you know nothing of the story at all. Then see if the "internal logic" is clean and easily understood. If we are not understood we can't tell a story.
BTW the poetry is good.
alidzain
9 years 11 months ago
okay.
I'll tell about it in the ''last words'' section and comment.
Alid
alidzain
9 years 11 months ago
This piece
is the sequel to ''Return Of The Werewolf'' which revealed his origin and why the Devil wants to enslave him.
Alid