Lonnie

Aug 05, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Legacy

I have no feet to walk the earth
no fins to swim the sea
no wings to soar the sky above
my conscience bothers me

my brain is smaller than my soul
my heart beats way to fast
the blood that flows within my veins
was shed in ages past

tighter now the cord constricts
that binds me to a lie
truth may come to set me free
but still I’ll wonder why

the earth revolves, the sea rolls on,
the sky grows ever grey
I wonder if the elder gods
will ever plainly say

that life is death and death is all
that life was meant to be
forgive this fool for being blind
I have no eyes to see

C. Lon R. Bruso

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: New England, originally, now, Macon, N.C., USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Frost, Bob Dylan

Comments

China Blue

9 years 11 months ago

ok

Beautifully written as you always do but way depressing

Lonnie

9 years 11 months ago

Thank you Dear!

As you well know, I am often moody if nothing else! I appreciate you taking time to read this and give me your honest opinion!

scribbler

9 years 11 months ago

Hi neighbor

I guess death is the one legacy we all share. Well written but...........stanza 2 line 2 almost screams to be far too fast for alliteration to me ..............stan

Lonnie

9 years 11 months ago

Hey Stan,

Thanks for the read and the comment! There is no alliteration involved in this poem that I know of, unless I goofed somewhere! LOL!!

weirdelf

9 years 11 months ago

so honest and vulnerab;e

Possibly one of your best poems.

Lonnie

9 years 11 months ago

Thanks Jess,

I tried hard with this one to be just that, brutally honest and open. Inner feelings displayed for all to see and debate upon. Thank you for taking time to leave me feedback on this!

Esker

9 years 11 months ago

freaking amazing as always...

a tad dark...but this time strangely interesting
from beginning to end
I like the mythical changes
cryptic without the losing of story
cause its Real...

thank U Lonnie!

Lonnie

9 years 11 months ago

Glad you chose to stop by on this one as I really needed your unique insight and opinion! Very dark indeed, but its what I often feel like deep inside, like I really don't matter much. Anyways, thank you again for your input!

Sparrow

9 years 11 months ago

Lonnie

Your Legacy was to live and learn, that the world had you play a role is another way of learning, life is hard and the hardest part is to live it.
The road you walked you walked with many others.
This is a great piece of writing, and from the thoughts of the inner man, you will never be blind young warrior, just know that all the things done have a reason.
Take care,
Yours as always Ian..

Lonnie

9 years 11 months ago

Thank you Ian,

I certainly have learned a bit in my 68 years on earth, but probably a lot less than I should have had I paid closer attention to some things! The feedback and thoughts are deeply appreciated!

Geezer

9 years 11 months ago

My guess is....

wondering if we really matter in this world is something that only some do. There are many that can't or won't, examine their lives to ask;"Do I matter?". A good, introspective work. Keep us thinking Lonnie! ~ Gee

Lonnie

9 years 11 months ago

Thanks Gee!

This wasn't an easy write for me, but I felt rather compelled to do it. Your feedback and kind words mean a great deal, Thank you!