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Aug 21, 2015
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This poem is part of the workshop:
Storytelling in Verse (sempiternal): The Horror Story
Meeting of The Minds (with Geezer)
In the doorway she stood
without a care.
His expression priceless.
As if he never saw someone
floating in thin air.
She watched him stare,
despite the jagged tear
Self-inflicted from ear to ear.
Still this handsome fellow,
showed no fear.
Bloody kisses
caught in the breeze
He thought her head,
may fall off with just one sneeze.
Her decaying heart skipped a beat
Her voice is in his head now
She speaks without a sound
He doesn't know just how
But he likes having her around
Are you all alone my dear?
Take me home tonight
Just hug and hold me near
Though I know I'm such a sight
Killer thinks she would be pretty
With a scarf around her neck
Wash her hair, it seems so gritty
He had shampoo, the last he checked
How delightful, her little smile
Lips just short of a smirk
Killer entranced the whole while
He thinks this may really work
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This was a collaboration with my FIL Geezer.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
9 years 10 months ago
Hello
Sounds like a match made in............somewhere lol. This is very smooth for a joint work. Way to go guys.......stan
lonlyhrtsclub13
9 years 10 months ago
thank you
Geezer was the mastermind. He came up with the idea. I just put my Two cents in.
Geezer
9 years 10 months ago
It's so easy...
to work with someone of a like mind! Our styles are a little bit different, but we have a good grasp of what it takes to make our characters mesh. Carrie always comes up with something I can work with and she seems to have the knack for feeling which way to go. All in all, this is fun! ~ Gee
lonlyhrtsclub13
9 years 10 months ago
its
Alot of fun. Our characters find ways to connect and Gee is always patient with my lack of meter.
Geezer
9 years 10 months ago
Your lack of meter...
doesn't detract much from the story and that is what is important. We can always work on the meter
after the story is told. This a workshop after all. ~ Gee
lonlyhrtsclub13
9 years 10 months ago
so far so good
And yes we can always make revisions.
Sparrow
9 years 10 months ago
To you Both
A great write and amazing not much blood around I shall have to send a message to Digit and tell him that a beach party is long overdue lol,
Take care both and well done,
Yours, Ian..
wesley snow
9 years 10 months ago
The sign said "read more".
I need to read more. This is a stark, yet workable exposition. Now do something.
China Blue
9 years 10 months ago
Geezer and Carrie
Omg you two are quite the team as far as horror I look forward to reading more In fact was was looking for more to this poem keep it going guys it is just awesome Deliciously evil and bloody
wesley snow
9 years 10 months ago
I agree with Chrys.
To put it crudely... the thing needs more bulk. We need a storyline and not just the introduction of the characters. It worked so well it would be a shame to let go just yet.