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Aug 30, 2015
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BEHIND THE MUSIC (1st poem I ever typed raw to post)
Listen to any real good song
then filter out the noise
you will find before too long
what's hidden behind the toys.
The drums and the bass guitar
reinforce the deeper beat
which carries the sound so far
from the stage out to the street.
Then other guitars supply rhythm
the leading one provides the drive
to leap beyond cognitive schism
and helps to bring the song alive.
Maybe a saxophone adds soul
a keyboard supplies the background
and a fiddle makes it whole
woodwinds join with a wistful sound.
Take all of these things away
even the metronomes soft tic
and what's left at the end of day?
It's the Words which make the real music.
* any editing was done as the words moved from mind to screen so don't be too hard on me.......just kidding lol.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
wesley snow
9 years 10 months ago
I can't do this.
My comment section is so fickle it sometimes erases entire critiques. I fear writing a good poem and suddenly losing it. Also, the environment feels hostile to write in. Like I can't take my time which is critical to my writing.
The poem still worked though. Good concept. I don't know though. Music without lyrics has its merits.
I have recently written a poem that was written as a lyric to a piece of music I devised. It was a very different way of writing. Maybe I'll post it. I'd sing it, but the voice is gone from all the smoking.
scribbler
9 years 10 months ago
It is
a tough thing to do, not having a written copy to peruse before posting. Just thought I'd give it a try.....likely won't do it again. Music on its own Can be wonderful. This deals with a song set to music and the position is that a song Must have the right words to be any good. I also wrote a song once and posted the thing here....what was it called??????? oh yeah "Front Man Dues" I think. Might dig it back out as it's past due for an edit lol........stan
Rula
9 years 10 months ago
Hello Stan
I did this a few times but with shorter pieces. Sometimes I fear to lose the thought so I start do the typing directly in the text box.
I like it till the last stanza where I thought tic and music don't sound very musical, or do they?
scribbler
9 years 10 months ago
Hi Rula
I've already decided melody would be better than music so now I'll have to also redo the other line lol. That's what happens with something this raw. Thanks for taking time to visit........stan
China Blue
9 years 10 months ago
Rula and Stan
If I may interject a thought I usually will use abbey word or note pad or the like then copy and paste it to Neo easier to change and make corrections that way as well
scribbler
9 years 10 months ago
I always
write in a spiral bound notebook with a pen then type it to here and transfer to other sites via copy and past which I've finally become proficient at........stan
China Blue
9 years 10 months ago
Stan
ya'll did it agin lol
you know I have found that not just the words survive but you do not need "toys" only voices in harmony I have lsitened to some beautiful acapello music and it sounds like instrument
but yes oftimes poem are turned to lyrics and vica a versa especially rhyme it makes it's own beat
scribbler
9 years 10 months ago
"Stan you did it again"
Read that and thought I was in trouble again lol.I think some of the best poetry of the last 40 years is within song lyrics...........stan
wesley snow
9 years 10 months ago
I STILL write with a nib pen and a bottle...
then transfer to the computer.
I really need to seek some help.
scribbler
9 years 10 months ago
I have yet
to experience a notebook "crash" and thus lose a bunch of poems lol. I also periodically print edited poems off here to paper and then store alphabetically for back up.......stan