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Jan 21, 2011
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I Hate
I hate therefore I am
I seethe with pure emotion
And bile.
Enemy at the gate
Don't set foot on my territory,
You'll regret it.
I have a huge capacity for love
But please don't rip me apart
And fake it,
If you really love me then
Then there is no fear.
Do't let someone else trespass, on our love
If you cheat you won't recover,
My wrath will be unleashed,
For a woman in pain can't be tamed.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I thought that I would experiment with Jack Kerouac's, method , or you could say his theory, that when writing , first thought is best thought.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Ian
It is ok, i don't bite lol
thanks
lou
Hooded Stranger
14 years 6 months ago
Lou
Lou,
really enjoyed this write - I can feel and understand the hate painted vividly in this one.
The opening stanza was sublime...a great introduction to the piece. That stanza grabs you and makes you want to keep reading.
I didn't think this stanza quite worked, but I don't really have a solution, but it is the last line that kind of confuses me:
If you really love me then
Then there is no fear.
If you let someone else trespass.
Enjoyed the write - keep 'em coming!
HS
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Dan
Dan,
Wow, i must have written something worth while, for a change, lol
thanks so much.
The last stanza, refers to the person needing to be faithful, i'll take a look and sort it out.
lou
Hooded Stranger
14 years 6 months ago
Lou
Lou,
it is the fourth stanza, not the last one. The last one is fine.
HS
lou
14 years 6 months ago
HS
It was a slip of the keys. you know me and typos
lou
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Xena
thank you
lou
Hooded Stranger
14 years 6 months ago
Lou
Lou, Lou
The typo Queen
She types her words
But we have no idea what she means
Lou, Lou
The Typo God
She types her words
As if she types using a cattle-prod
regards,
HS
lou
14 years 6 months ago
LMAO
How very dare you. lmao
Dan, Dan the cheeky sod
lou
Candlewitch
14 years 5 months ago
Hi Lou,
If you cheat you won't recover,
My wrath will be unleashed,
For a woman in pain can't be tamed.
So very true! A most powerful poem which says a lot about the kind of strength you have!
love, Cat
lou
14 years 5 months ago
Cat
Woe-betied any man who thinks its ok to do the dirty on a woman,
thanks