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Esker
Esker
Oct 25, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

HEAVENSPENCE

i recall the rusted hold
entrusted
broken

lah lah lands gates held open

beautiful in its desolate hush
the petals of a summerbloom
slumbering with its dainty head
held aloft by its bowed head

she loves me not

..

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: north ontario, CAN

Favorite Poets: Klo , .., Ida, .., Rhiannon1010, .., Pleiades, .., Valryianne, .., Ester, .., Stephanie, .., Emina Smajevic, ..., Elefentee, ..., Sommer Lyn, ..., Jasmine, ..., Rula, ...

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Comments

Sparrow

Sparrow

9 years 8 months ago

Steve

A short and grand piece, not sure about the line:-
held aloft by its bowed head..
Here you have used Head again, and the English is broken you don't hold something by its bowed head
"Bowed Stem" as in bowing to someone..
Otherwise a good short write, Yours Ian..