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Dec 12, 2015
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The Ocean
In the herd, I saw you
The silence, deafening truth
And the boat lies waiting
Still your arms are flailing
And in the sky, you are waiting….
What have I lost? An ocean.
Now I am drifting in pollution
In this sandbox of love….
What have I lost? An ocean.
And am I going through the motions,
In this lost art of love?
It keeps you in the saddle
It keeps you in the sky
You’ll sleep like a child
Knowing we are all wild
In this ocean of love
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I am back?
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Sparrow
9 years 6 months ago
Washing Tears
Loved the story and the flow, just a few things that needs attention, starting a line with AND is a non, where the and is usually redundant.
Nothing too much to edit, A good write..
Yours Ian..
Esker
9 years 6 months ago
this poem worked for me
fave line....keeps U in the saddle...
thank U