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Feb 21, 2016
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In Slumber
In slumber,
a soul took flight,
to embrace
a new adventure.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Sparrow
9 years 4 months ago
Alid
In waking
The souls learning
Begins
Take care young traveller and teach the children if they do not know, but also learn from the children as they are closer to the Spirit.
Good words there young poet it now needs a poem written around those words,
Yours as always Ian..
alidzain
9 years 4 months ago
Hello Ian
Thanks for the visit, the read and the comment.
Alid
Rula
9 years 4 months ago
awesome
I really like it Khalid.
I also have learned slumber as a new word.
Thank you for sharing brother.
alidzain
9 years 4 months ago
Salam, Rula
Glad you liked it, sis. You're welcome.
Alid