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Mar 02, 2016
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Summer of Ten... [An East Main St. story]
Sweet iced tea
Served on the window-ledge
The close warm air
Second floor breeze
My sisters asleep
The front window open
Me and Mom hanging out
Looking at the stars
Of Main Street
Puerto-rican chrome
White leather seats
“Hey baaaaby!”
“Ooooh, mamacita!”
Keep your eyes
In your sockets boys!
“Old Sailor” waltzing
The Drunkard's Strut
Bouncing off the drug-store window
Mom called the cops
He fought his demons
Shanghaied
He'd come to in the brig
Sorry he ever left the sea
The bats chasing bugs
In the street-light
Mohawk Movie neon
Red and green
Blinks out...
Close the window on the screen
Silently down the hall
Twenty-five watt bulb
Barely hits the high ceiling
Click...
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
vandiemenspeak
9 years 4 months ago
I don't know where this came from..
But it's vivid, raucous and full of life., The sounds of the street come to life, in this portrait of a slice of street life. And the ending, inspired..
( I can just see that guy ambling up the street...wow)
Thank you..
Chris.
Geezer
9 years 4 months ago
thanks chris...
I appreciate your kindness. my hometown of Amsterdam, ny, was at that point, a boom town. we had one of the premier rug companies in the usa. many glove factories and knitting mills. there were barges going up and down the river, trains delivering people and goods. those nights with my mom in the 2nd floor window, even the winter nights, were where my love for people-watching was born.
thanks again, ~ Gee.
Seren
9 years 4 months ago
Dearest Bro
I felt, saw and smelt it, it really is that good
Im speechless and you know that doesnt happen often
Applause, this is real sweat and tears poetry with a touch of love x
Brilliant write Bro
Love and higgliest bugs Sis xxx
Geezer
9 years 4 months ago
sorry I havent
Been able to reply as I would like. It takes way to long on my phone and I am in the hospital. I have been too sick to do much on my computer. There have been very few days to much at all. I kept thinking that I could beat this all by myself and yesterday found that I couldn't. I apologise. This has taken me so long that my phone is dying and I have no charger so will do better when reunited with my computer. Love and higgest bugs Bro
vandiemenspeak
9 years 4 months ago
Get well soon geezer...
Hope you're back on feet (and bike ) soon ;) - remember - hospitals can make for great inspiration, even though they may seem gloomy, and a pen and pad never run out of battery..
Take it easy.
Chris.
Geezer
9 years 3 months ago
Been home...
a few days now and feeling much better. No cigarettes for a month now. I'm sure that is going to help! Thanks for the well wishes. ~ Gee.
scribbler
9 years 4 months ago
Hi Geeze
I was going to point out a few typos but since this was posted via phone I'll keep my mouth shut. Were I to try to post using a fone it wuld likely loo like this lol. Get yourself well asap.........stan
Geezer
9 years 3 months ago
Not sure where...
my typos are. Maybe you could point them out? ~ Gee.
Roscoe Lane
9 years 4 months ago
Love this,
Love this, it's real and alive. Regards Roscoe....
Geezer
9 years 3 months ago
It was my...
intention that it be real and alive and I'm glad that it appears so. This is some of what I remember from the summer of ten. Still vivid and clear after all these years. Thanks, ~ Gee.
Esker
9 years 4 months ago
terse realism
Awesome!
everyone flips their stories
writes their shots they recollect
connect the dots
loved this for being so vividly
differently descript
from the usual
stretching in venues
Thank U!
Geezer
9 years 3 months ago
Saying it again...
I have learned much from you and your terse, concise descriptions of emotion and scenes. I see these memories through the eyes and mind of myself; like a recording or home made movie shown on the blank wall or a sheet. Thank you for the inspiration. ~ Gee.
lovedly
9 years 4 months ago
as you draw praise
I fear to my voice raise
ere you know why!
a friend just celled
all has since your time changed
he to me appeared now deranged
but your magnificence remains
this is the first time
I comment on your refrains
hope you will not slice!
again
Geezer
9 years 3 months ago
Lovedly...
I have respect for your opinion and hope that you have some for mine. As for any misunderstandings, that's all that it was. I am pleased that my newest efforts have made enough of an impression to have you comment. Thank you, ~ Gee.
jane210660
9 years 2 months ago
I've been reading a few of
I've been reading a few of your poems and what really hits home and impresses me are the pictures you paint so vividly.
I love this snapshot of another life, I feel I could walk into it.
Jx
Geezer
9 years 2 months ago
Thank you again...
Now, I'm going to have to read whatever you have posted here and do some critiquing myself.
~ Gee.
jane210660
9 years 2 months ago
Lol
No you don't, just read what you want to.
But I do like many of your poems. Jx