alidzain

Mar 14, 2016 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Shines Like A Star ( For Joe and Jayne)

I see you bloom in your words,
telling your story and declaring to the whims of fate
that your soul will always be free as a bird
and the pain has not made your write degrade
but spins further in a new tapestry,
the unique fabric of feelings that defines who you are,
a powerful piece of beautiful memory,
the glory of the spirit that shines like a star.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

Comments

Rula

9 years 4 months ago

Awesomely done Khalid!

and well merited indeed.

If I may ... and the pain [has]...
Thank you for sharing!

alidzain

9 years 4 months ago

Salam, Rula

Glad you liked it. Done the edit.

Alid

raj

9 years 4 months ago

Hi Alid

Good one...

I suggest pain has not make [made]

Regards,

alidzain

9 years 4 months ago

Raj

Done the edit. Thanks.

Alid

Geremia

9 years 4 months ago

How simply BEAUTIFUL. Your

How simply BEAUTIFUL. Your poem touched me more than I can say,

alidzain

9 years 4 months ago

Well, Joe

You and Jayne inspired me the most here, so its only fair I do my best when I salute both of you with my poetry.

Love you friend,
from your fan,
Alid

Geremia

9 years 4 months ago

and you succeeded marvelously

and you succeeded marvelously.

alidzain

9 years 4 months ago

Joe

I'm glad you liked it, bro.

I can't show you enough
how much I admire you.
Not even the darkest night
could deny the light from you.

Envied by the sun,
more vibrant than the rainbows.
you make me smile
under the moonlight glow.

So thank you very much
for all you have shared,
the story you have told,
the heart you have bared.

Alid

raj

9 years 4 months ago

Wow Alid...how quickly you

Wow Alid...how quickly you have come up with this one truly shows your admiration of Jayne & Joe...

Well done...

Regards,

alidzain

9 years 4 months ago

raj

if you noticed, I borrow from you abit "moonlit glow". Well they make me realize that I shouldn't give up on my dream and because of that, I became one of the representatives from my country in the compilation of malay poems from 4 countries. It really feels good, raj. I'm writing malay poems in the facebook malay poem's site every night and preparing for more projects to come. It can be tiring but I'm just loving it all.

Alid