Voice of Rage

Sitting on the throne,
spitting on truth, spreading lies!
There's treachery he choose to hone,
under the cloak of disguise?

Shamelessly, he steals
from the people
who yield their trust to him
and uplift him before the world?

When even the poor are slapped with taxes
with such disregard to their needs,
his dignity is a mockery, presented in tatters
by an overwhelming greed!

He's not a leader, but a thief,
painting his face wih smiles and laughter,
ignoring a nation's grief
while he continues to plunder.

When the time comes to face the heat,
his wealth won't save him, not even a dime
for when his reign cease in defeat,
he'll be judged for his crimes.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

Comments

Sparrow

9 years 4 months ago

Rage

A piece of unusual writing there Alid, It is outside of your true self, but maybe from a distant memory that allows you to write of such feelings, as we grow things we have seen or been part of and sorted can be written of and this you have done to a high degree.
Take care will talk later, Yours as always Ian..

alidzain

9 years 4 months ago

Ian

I am furious, my friend. I see the situation in the current government and I felt a twinge of despair. Its hard for me to find a better job as they seem to want chinese-speaking candidates. Then there's the matter of the government interfering with the CPF, part of the money taken from the peoples' salary. In the past, the muslim elders can use the funds to perform haj in Mecca but now that is not possible. They are giving the money bit by bit each month. Its interfering with the religion. I thought of leaving for Malaysia if things don't improve if I could but what happened? The 1MBD, scandal came up involving the Prime Minister. I talked to some of the malaysians and get info from muslim scholars that rumors had it that some of the money was taken from the people's trust funds meant for those wishing to go to haj. It doesn't stop there. Their government are enforcing taxes, disregarding the poor families living there. This is definitely NOT the teachings of Islam and I'm fed up. The men of power are betraying the people. This is not right.

Alid

eightmenout

9 years 4 months ago

Alid

It seems you have gotten the emotion out and that is good. However, I think that now you need to apply your skill and clean it up. The read is very choppy and stunts some of the emotion.

I personally never really take to political verse where the poetry attacks the time. Rather I suggest for you to try and let the time attack the poetry. An example, albeit in prose, would be The Grapes of Wrath.

Hope this helps

alidzain

9 years 4 months ago

Scott

I'm not sure how to do that in this piece. Can you offer another example?

Alid

eightmenout

9 years 4 months ago

Alid

Try making yourself the narrator and tell it from a different perspective. Remove the I and let the reader have more of an opportunity to insert themselves.

Thanks