Anamnesis

In the score of my life,
at that time where it was scripted
that I would meet you,
was also authored
the beginning of our goodbye.

But, before that farewell reached its finale,
your cavatina was written.

And that melody lingers forevermore
in the song of my soul.
.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

brittle light

9 years 1 month ago

but also scripted,

but also scripted,
before that farewell reached its finale,
all our stories
and your cavatina too...or something like that

just my suggestion. The first and second verse of the second stanza seemed to be struggling a bit.

otherwise, a good plotting of the thematic idea

just me,

judyanne

9 years 1 month ago

yes - thanks Al

The second stanza bothers me too
thanks for the suggestion... I'll think it over...
love judy
xxx

judyanne

9 years 1 month ago

I've taken a leaf

out of my own book lol
- what to leave and what should leave....

What do you think now?
xxx

brittle light

9 years 1 month ago

works for me

could 'cavatina' prosper from an adjective...i.e. lovely, or heartfelt, or pleading etc.
you know best the sentiment implied... you fill in the blank, I think it would help the reader understand the feeling of the melody you are carrying

judyanne

9 years 1 month ago

hi Al

Thanks for the suggestion
not sure that cavatina needs an adjective.... his solo in the middle of my symphony... it wouldn't be one emotion per se....

But I will take it on board and think about it...
maybe the descriptive needn't necessarily be an emotion.....
love judy
xxx

raj

9 years 1 month ago

Hi Judyanne

I must concede that I had not come across the word "cavatina" whioch made me look for it and know that it means a simple song...so after reading again this certainly runs like a simple heartfelt song with a sentimental touch..

Much love n hugs..