Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
May 20, 2016
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Dragons Breath
Once upon a time a dragon wept;
fair maidens never seemed to understand
why elder set appointments went unkept
(his fervent wish, let sacrifice be banned).
The errant knights who wandered on strange quests
amused him with their pennant, shield and lance,
one hiccup as his hurried lunch digests
would have Sir hot-foot skip a comic dance.
No entertaining tin-can with a spear
could woo him from a woeful want of sleep
at length he sadly quit this sordid sphere
as villagers' vile stories cut too deep.
Then: heroes battled monsters to the death.
Now: faded fairy tales of dragons’ breath.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
judyanne
9 years 1 month ago
are you allowed, or did you intend
to use the rhyme change in stanza 3?
or is this not intended to be a sonnet? Maybe not - is there a volta there?
I actually found it a little off-putting (the rhyme change that is, not the poem - I loved that) - but that's possibly ms rigid me lol
It would still work if you changed the order of the last two verses (lines)
Love the write
Gave me a smile
love judy
xxx
Keith Logan
9 years 1 month ago
Cut and paste problems
caused that swap. It was unintentional and should really have been exactly as you pointed out. I must hire a proof reader.
brittle light
9 years 1 month ago
charming, even poignant ..
charming, even poignant ...and agree about switching the last two lines.
Keith Logan
9 years 1 month ago
Done
thank you for commenting, it is always appreciated.