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Jun 01, 2016
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Haikuku On The Loose
cheeky squirrel
bushy tail a'swagger
juggling nuts
a twig snaps
momentary stillness
frolicking resumes
wide-eyed kitten
empty box,
filled with joy
thunderous downpour
drips, drops, and droops
wading in wait
a child's scream
just play-
a mother knows
pink flamingos
plastic tacky, needless to say
I want one!
kitten and puppy play
carefree
not knowing of myths
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Esker
9 years 1 month ago
before b.s.
before the smote times
a shadows hawk profile
when the sun was
dazzling and fun
imagination not
a loaded gun
Loved this!
because I like it!
(I used to hate the
tacky cheapness people
loved in things...say ideals
love...honesty...loyalty
I would buy designer items
destined to last forever
but they lacked the intimate
enjoyment and love the
immediate and affordable
the fun lent...now I see
and feel the shadow...
The understanding of
the Pink Flamingo!!)
brittle light
9 years 1 month ago
you seem to know my evolving
you seem to know my evolving sentiments somehow.
the same plane,
wavelength
path
on such matters as pink flamingos et al
weird!
I sometimes think I am through changing anything about myself at this stage of life, but I am invariably wrong.
Pink Flamingos! who'd a thunk!
thanks,
judyanne
9 years 1 month ago
lots of visual
Love this
haikuku .... I'm glad to see you not stick to that horrible 575
- I never feel confident enough to do that....
Stanza 5 - very clever
Love judy
xxx
brittle light
9 years 1 month ago
Yes, that 5-7-5 is so
Yes, that 5-7-5 is so debunked and defunct...when will others accept this?
these few here seem more real to me than the formally constructed, contrived ones; losing the 'spirit' of spontaneity.
I glad you concur.
thanks for appreciating. A no effort effect was my goal
always,