raj

Jun 01, 2016 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Handkerchief

Not just a piece of fabric
it has a tale to tell
now a souvenir
though its borders are now frail

On each thread is writ a verse
in intimate dialect
still moist
with lavender mist
to inhale, reminisce
those liquid moments in tranquil

The motifs now faded
but the verses keep saturating
from the eyes
ever alive
moistened by
those intimate moments
tugging at the heart strings....

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

Comments

alidzain

9 years 1 month ago

Thanks Alid for the read and

Thanks Alid for the read and comment...

Regards,

Rula

9 years 1 month ago

Wow!

Who said that the handkerchief is merely a fabric.
Amazing how you gave such a small piece of cloth such a history.
I really can't choose a favorite line, each verse stunned me!
Congrats!

raj

9 years 1 month ago

Hi Rula

thanks for the read and your kind words of appreciation...

Regards,

mand

9 years 1 month ago

Hi Raj

Very well written - wonderfully descriptive - worthy of a book! :)

Love Mand xxxx

raj

9 years 1 month ago

Hi Mand

appreciate your taking time to read and kind words...good to know you liked it..

much love and hugs..

Keith Logan

9 years 1 month ago

Good one

loved by this hopeless romantic.

raj

9 years 1 month ago

Thanks Keith for the time,

Thanks Keith for the time, read and comment....

Regards,

tyro

7 years 2 months ago

Hi Rij,

Hi Rij,
I like both the idea and the presentation; also the originality gives it flavor.

"now a souvenir
though its borders are now frail"

it seem this handkerchief had a lot of work to do. Only, i am not so content wit the ending. Saying, only that those intimate moments were short lived, says nothing of the emotions that born them. May be something like, "that pulled at the heart". just the first thing to come to mind, but an example of what I mean by an emotional ending.

raj

7 years 2 months ago

Hi tyro

thanks for the read comment and suggestive ending...i will think over it for sure...

Regards....

raj

7 years 2 months ago

Hi again tyro

taking into consideration the merits of your suggestion, I have tweaked the concluding line. If you get time to visit this page again do let me know if it now works better...
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