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Finding Home (edit)

The way home
Is not always found
On the road
Or just traveling around

The way home
Is a mental state
Created by longing
Hope and a little fate

A smell from a kitchen
The sounds of children
Playing in a yard
Seem familiar and common

The lake, park
Or a diner
On Sunday morning
With my father

A picture in the mind
Of somewhere safe
With happy people
Who were so kind

There are times
That we don’t see
Where home is at
For lack of a key

That lost moment
In a world that has forgotten.
Feeling abandoned,
Like an enfant

Some how
The power of a memory
Takes us straight back
And so abruptly

Isn’t it wonderful!!

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem, USA

Favorite Poets: P. Neruda, Jose de Diego, E. Dickenson, R. Frost, there are many more, but these had the greatest influence...

More from this author

Comments

weirdelf

weirdelf

8 years 11 months ago

true

'Is a metal state' did you mean mental?
Might I suggest that some negative associations might add to the robustness of the piece?

Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

8 years 11 months ago

Jess,

Yes Mental is correct, as I always say. "Run away fingers"
I have taken your suggestion and added the negative associations.
Thanks brother!

Eddie C.

wesley snow

wesley snow

8 years 11 months ago

Sorry Eduardo,

but I didn't much care for it as poetry. I love the theme and the vignettes are compelling, but it isn't poetry in my ear.
This is a "list" poem and I'm not crazy about it.

Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

8 years 11 months ago

You are right!

Didn't care for it much myself, just wrote it and decide to post it as is. I will return to it and make some changes that will make it sound like poetry.

Eddie C.
Thanks for the visit feel better!

judyanne

judyanne

8 years 11 months ago

love the concept Eddie

I hope you do work on this to give it a more poetic leaning
lol - this is one I'd love to play with
I look forward to what you do with it
love judy
xxx

R

raj

8 years 11 months ago

Eddie

I liked the theme as well as the message...

Regards,

Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

8 years 11 months ago

raj,

Thank you, it is appreciated!

Eddie C.