The colourblind eye

My future is murky
but her eyes are clear
more olive to me
but maybe nearer green

at this achromic point,
I cannot tell
what lies in those
colours

yet I could be right
and the glint in
this colourblind eye
could return

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Tasmania, AUS

Favorite Poets: Glen Richards, Thomas Hardy, Phillip Larkin, Robert Frost, William Carlos Williams, Carol Ann Duffy , Ani DiFranco, Seamus Heaney, Emily Dickinson, T. S. Elliot

Comments

Keith Logan

8 years 12 months ago

I like the subject

and most of the treatment, though I felt there to be too much repetition of the word colourblind in such a short piece. We might think in terms of blinkered or shaded or shadowed or whatever, to add more interest.

vandiemenspeak

8 years 12 months ago

Thanks Keith..

I substituted line five after pondering, and looking up the medical term for the condition, actually like the way the word fits, and the dual meaning, I am really colourblind, and never bothered researching the condition before, as I *think it's only affected me in subtle ways, but perhaps there were on or two things i did miss..

Thanks,

Chris.

Esker

8 years 11 months ago

depth

great poem...

the...I cant see the wavelengths of truth...

I cant read U....

not a doubt of others in our lives
especially Love and women
of which I could write a book on
with my experiences....
not that I have large number
or volume...but the characters
and intensity
and god knows what they saw
in me to want too spend time
have a child
run me through their system
rooms...bodies...arms..
little private fun trips like bike
trail rides...
beach swims
coffees and the shoppes
and shopping on a few
occassions
nothing makes them happier
then being dragged along
small aisles full of other
tempetous crazies
carrying a laden wire
basket...Or waiting outside
the change room doors
and giving them feedback
on dresses...tops..
holding all the other shopping
bags....

love blind..some people are
like scar tissue too the all
seeing heart
ha....

the beauties

and if U cant read them
the fun they have!!!

thank U!

vandiemenspeak

8 years 11 months ago

And the wrenching loss..

that stirs multicoloured dreams of former beauties - or so they semed. I found one on Social Media, who got in touch with me - first love, back in the old country, beutiful raven haired parcelain beauty that surges through my veins still even 25 years later...now married and with a new name, I didn't recognize her, but then the fuse is lit the passions auger grinds to a start, the dreams return, the page is printed, the other half assumes it's a real thing, I call a fiction (which of course it is) - no more lonely voyuer of a memory.. but then, to have loved and lost and all that - inspires great feeling and will remain as long as memory persists..

Thanks me old cobber!
.

Chris.