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Our Story

We are only specks of dust
in this vast universe,
defying the odds to survive
since time immemorial.

We have revolutionized our lives,
raising standards by embracing technology
but it is with this same tool
that we discard our humanity,
tearing away the innocence of women
and helpless children, sold into slavery.

We build our civilization
at the expense of the land's beauty,
raising a concrete jungle
that we claimed to be our city.
Then we continue to rape
the earth with our pollution
out of sheer ignorance.

We evolve, growing stronger and faster
until time ravages our flesh
and we became one
with Mother Nature..

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

More from this author

Comments

Sparrow

Sparrow

8 years 11 months ago

Alid

This is not up to your standards only because it doesn't ring true to life no matter if fiction or not.
The rape of the world and misuse of technology is missed out on this piece and no matter what as you say we will return to Mother nature, but maybe even she will reject us,
Take care young traveller, great to walk with you,
Yours, Sparrow Hawk..

alidzain

alidzain

8 years 11 months ago

Hi Ian!

Done some edits, what do you think?

Alid

Sparrow

Sparrow

8 years 11 months ago

Alid

Just the line:- "until time ravage our flesh" change the ravage to ravages, this will put it in the right context,
Good write I now await the others to comment,
Yours, Ian..