Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Aug 17, 2016
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
a scottish love song
An ancient memory invades the fuar
I pull my cape around me close
And climb the rock to see:
for I belonged to him
He ne’er belonged to me
I sit alone and stare to sea.....
Shrouded by the mist-
my soul calls out to crashing waves
summoning his memory.
For I belonged to him.
He ne’er belonged to me.
A shadow blocks the moon;
my eyes yearn to see
his kind and gentle face appear.
Two thousand years is but a day
when his strong arms protected me
And I was his forever
Forever and a day
For I belonged to him
He ne'er belonged to me.
My warrior and his shield of gold
He owned my my heart, my soul
Two thousand years I searched for him
Two thousand years I cried to hear
his voice call out to me
in Gael; the song of love
The song of old..
....But ne’er will again.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: seems that life and love consume me... not wanting to spend the rest of my life alone, I find that unrequited love has attached itself to me...and I am incapable of stopping the self destructive patterns... but it does inspire me to write love songs and poetry... S.
Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Esker
8 years 11 months ago
aye theres the rub gurl
yea got it
a fire in yer belly......climbing rocks to get a look at yer man..
I hide in a basement...and a girl comes and hugs me goodbye
in passing
Oh though shes got much perfume on
We are travelers in a world of Dwellers
I Hugged her..nodded to the present consort
they soak her up but
shes not a timid lass
twenty one
I wondered where they are
out there
run the life
and still going
Now I found U!
bravo
I could take Bukowski on
a tour I could
Find wolfes ghosts in real
and fill them with stones
slap plaths lover
but i cannot save myself
from self
only if I want too
the trick U see
IN meantime
I drink too much
think too much
and write too much
and help too many out
of my old team as they
age
as I age
for I am not immortal
what is
Love
Love is Immortal
never stop believing
in this
this shines in your
work
Your passion
i am all intuition
un bottled and raw
alone is a state with
great views and vista
and best be spent
enjoyed
then anchored too
some island where
the natives
are hostile
I journey enjoying
the smiles
where I go
even Gaugin
and Van Gogh
did dance halls
island ventures
and me
I am broken
Love will never
find me
like some
but of they
They have many
but in the end
theirs leave
so are they happy
did they enjoy
the view
the million dollar
question
your writing from
all this passion
shows....
I could smell the
country air
taste the tang
of the sea
feel the might
of the rock
and worthy
climb
the story tellers
just
Thank U!
Keith Logan
8 years 11 months ago
Beautiful poem
Full of love eternal. I am Scottish and a hopeless romantic so truly appreciate timeless tales. One point I failed to grasp though, fuar. Might you please elucidate?
sarahatthesea
8 years 11 months ago
Look it up. Lol. It's a
Look it up. Lol. It's a Scottish word.., in gaelic.
sarahatthesea
8 years 11 months ago
Look it up. Lol. It's a
Look it up. Lol. It's a Scottish word.., in gaelic.
Vivovon
8 years 11 months ago
Quite a poem
Quite a poem! It is then true that the ancient never fades away and love burns forever. "2000 years" reminds me of "She" by Sir Henry Rider Haggard. She was two thousand years old and still waiting for her lover. I am intrigued.
sarahatthesea
8 years 11 months ago
Thank you... I need a muse in
Thank you... I need a muse in order to creaate.. lol. My poems reflect the content of our affair...I was involved then with a gorgeous Scotsman who seduced me with ancient lore..,
judyanne
8 years 10 months ago
hello sarah
Nice to meet you
A very powerful write - I enjoyed reading it....
one suggestion only
you might like to consider breaking it up into stanzas
the breaks cause the reader to take pause, which in turn allows the previous thought to be taken in before the next is presented....
and also because a big block brick wall is often offputting to some readers
Love judy
xxx
sarahatthesea
8 years 10 months ago
scottish love song
Thank you Judy... your suggestion has been applied.